A farmer named Sam was overseeing his herd in a remote hilly pasture in Hereford when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the farmer, “If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?”
Sam looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing animals and calmly answers, “Sure, why not?”The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3® cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop® and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany …Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot® that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL® database through an ODBC connected Excel® spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry® and, after a few minutes, receives a response.Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet® printer, turns to the Farmer and says, “You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.
“That’s right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,” says Sam.He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the back of his car.
Then Sam says to the young man, “Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?”
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, “Okay, why not?”
“You’re a Member of the European Parliament”, says Sam.
“Wow! That’s correct,” says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?”
“No guessing required.” answered Sam. “You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of pounds worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don’t know a thing about how working people make a living – or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep.
Now give me back my dog.
AND THAT Friends IS WHAT THE PROBLEM IS WITH THE EU
3
Some of these e-mail jokes can be nothing but time-wastng. This is brilliant.
(Party Member) Fantastic! How well thought out and very funny! We need a laugh sometimes with the sheer frustration of trying to save our country from the lunatics that are running it into the ground !
It put a smile on my face. 🙂
(Party Member) The Chief Executive Officer of insurance giant Legal and General, Dr. Nigel Wilson, has spoken about Britain leaving the European Union. He said that the UK is underachieving by focusing ‘far to much on Europe, rather than other faster growing global markets’. He also said ‘The U.K. needs to stop looking inward to Europe and must have an outward looking, global trading vision’. As we also believe in trading with the rest of the world as well, I hope we send him an information pack!
(Party Member) Britain has been told it must pay an EXTRA £1.7 BILLION this year towards the European Union’s funds , due to our relative economic health ! Would it be a GREAT DAY to say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH and following B.D.P. policy , ANNOUNCE OUR WITHDRAWAL ?
( Party Official ) Clever , funny and TRUE ! JOIN the Party that tells it how it is ! British Democratic Party , Saving Britain , one step at a time.
( Party Official ) Now that we are escaping the clutches of the real EVIL EMPIRE , I thought our readers would enjoy another look at this very funny look at the E.U. Superstate ! More seriously I hope our Party creates a LAND PURCHASE SCHEME so MEMBERS can OWN OUR BIT OF BRITAIN , by buying a few acres in the countryside that WE can visit or even hold events . Although not in to camping particularly , weekends with fellow MEMBERS , at our OWN BIT OF BRITAIN , WOULD BE GREAT !